


Born of Malice, Heart of Gold

by Fernatticus



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Goblins, Nott | Veth Brenatto has PTSD, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24158674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fernatticus/pseuds/Fernatticus
Summary: Veth Brenatto dies and Nott the Brave is born into a world cruel and full of contempt for her. Nott's time after being transformed by Isharnai!
Kudos: 7





	Born of Malice, Heart of Gold

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to add more to this, so here's to hoping I don't abandon this fic!

One day, Veth Brenatto died and Nott the Brave was born.

Nott the Brave was born of hate and anger, and the first thing she experienced was that hate and anger she had died to avoid. She awoke on the floor, laying straight, her muscles tense and aching. Her eyes fluttered open, hearing the sound of cackling currently replacing the ringing that echoed in her head. The light, while dim, was bright and overwhelming. She squinted up to see a ramshackled wooden roof above her, blocking the rainfall which she could hear distinctly outside. 

The horrible cackling gradually became more pronounced until it was the only thing she could focus on. She swallowed down a lump in her throat, only for the action to hurt her. Her throat was dry and ached. She became acutely aware of how thirsty she was, and how fucking hungry she was.

Something poked into frame, and her eyes focused enough to see a terrifying woman. In a moment of bleary and delirious association, she remembered this woman, the hag who laughed as Nott was drowned, and her eyes went wide. She tried to sit up, to run, to get away, but her whole body ached and her limbs felt stiff. 

"A debt had been repaid," A crackling, harsh voice said. The hag looked down at Nott and grinned. Nott opened her mouth to speak, or more likely scream, but found herself incapable of eliciting a sound. "We are even now."

"That we are," Another harsh, and horrifyingly familiar female voice said from somewhere in the room Nott couldn't see immediately. "A pleasure doing business with you."

A spark of recognition sparked in Nott's head, but before she could react something blinded her. She could feel a blindfold being wrapped around her head, and some sort of gag being shoved into her mouth. Rope was tightened around her wrists and ankles and she was hoisted up. Her whole body felt off, and she couldn't will her body to move, despite her mind screaming at her to run. She knew she needed to fight back, but trying to command her body to act was a fruitless endeavor.

She felt herself being dragged off, a number of sharp claws pulling her outside. Her feet dragged on the ground, and the texture went from smooth floorboards to mud and rocks. She felt herself being thrown onto what she could only assume was a wagon, hitting her head on impact. She managed to let out a pained groan, which was the first noise she had managed to make this entire ordeal. Either her captors didn't hear her, or they simply ignored it as she could hear their chatter in their weird, guttural tongue move ahead of her. 

Everything felt much louder. It was indescribable really, as it wasn’t really louder, just heightened.. Not just the voices, but the sound of the rain on wood and the footsteps of her captors. She didn't have long to focus on this oddity, because her mind hung heavy and the exhaustion was overwhelming. The strong part of her wanted to stay awake, but the weak part wanted to avoid the pain and rest, and eventually after little internal debate, the weak part overpowered her and heavy sleep took over her mind.

She didn't dream in the short time she was asleep, and quickly after dozing off she felt the cart stall. She half woke up, reality a difficult thing to grasp while wearing a blindfold and being bound. She had a headache, which she gathered was due to hitting her head earlier. She willed herself to pay attention to the outside, and listened closely for an inkling of what was occurring.

Around her she could hear guttural shouting that hit her with a wave of panic. She recognized not the words themselves, the tone of voice being used. She had heard this while Felderwin was being raided, and when she had made a distraction. The difference between this and Felderwin was there was not nearly as much shouting from the other side. She could tell they were still in the woods due to the rough terrain they had been travelling on, so she gathered this was a drive by raid, on who she couldn't yet gather. She prayed for their sake not a family travelling alone. She could hear a few voices yelling back and forth in common and bits and pieces from the fight happening outside. 

"Shit! Goblins!" A male deep male voice yelled, a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Venos! Zia's down!" A panicked female voice yelled. "Ritu! Behind you!" 

"Venos! We need a healer NOW!" Another androgynous voice screamed, the terror in their voice all too familiar. Nott squeezed her eyes tight and cried, hearing the sounds of violence and death around her. Her heart tightened just as much for these people as for herself and her own fears.

The fight didn't last long. Nott could hear one lone battle cry cut off before a victorious yell from the goblins echoed through the woods. Nott curled in on herself, terror and empathy overwhelming her. The only comfort was that she hadn't heard any children, so no child had been slaughtered. This provided limited emotional relief, but at least the fighting had stopped. 

The goblins spent a few more minutes there, occasionally shouting back and forth, before they got back to the cart. Nott tried to stop shaking, her body practically convulsing from her choked off sobs. The attempt yielded poor results, but luckily her captors didn't seem to care, as within a few minutes they were moving again, the cart jostling her quivering body as it rolled along an uneven road.

The fear kept her up longer, but Nott soon found herself lulling to sleep once more after a couple of hours. This time around, her sleep was light and restless. The drive was bumpy and uncomfortable, her body being jostled relentlessly, and the goblins talked loudly amongst themselves. Her drowsy mind wandered to her family. While hope was a silly emotion to have in such a horrible situation, she hoped that they had gotten away. As far as she could tell, she diverted the attention of most all of the pursuing goblins. Yeza had clasped a hand on Luc's mouth so he wouldn't cry and alert their pursuers, despite Yeza himself sobbing. 

She had been crying so hard it had been difficult to see where she was running. She had run as quickly as she could, but it hadn't been enough. She really couldn't have gotten back to Felderwin anyway. The nearest town was Talonstadt, and it was still days travel by cart. It had been a hopeless endeavor for her, but it was a sacrifice she was willing to make, and would make a hundred times over. These thoughts lulled her into a somber sleep.

She was awoken once more to the stopping of the party. This time when she awoke, her mind was much clearer and she began to formulate a plan based on the little to no information or context she had. First, get the bindings off her wrists. She assumed they had used rope, but it wasn't painfully tight. She began to wriggle her wrists in an attempt to loosen them. Her hands were small, but they seemed to have accounted for that when tying her up. She realized by the density of the rope and the knot applied this would be difficult, but she needed to at the very least try. She spent the next few minutes trying to loosen her bindings. While doing this, her attention was diverted away from her captors, so when something hard hit her square in the stomach, it took her entirely by surprise. 

"Don't pick at your bindings, redak," A scratchy voice barked in broken common as she curled in on herself, the pain from the blow pervading throughout her entire body. She let out a whine of pain at the unpleasant, although not entirely foreign, sensation. Pain was something that had simply become a normal part of life since being captured by the goblins.

A clawed hand grabbed at her arm, and with surprising force, she was expelled from the cart and onto the ground. She raised her shoulder to her ear, diverting the blow from her skull to her shoulder. She rolled onto her back, unable to move freely. Two sets of hands dragged her over the ground, and she was thrown against a tree. She settled into a sitting position, confused on why exactly she was being manhandled. The gag was ripped from her mouth suddenly and she took the opportunity to breathe as much as she could, enjoying the sensation of nothing stuffed in her mouth.

"Eat," A voice growled, and something was shoved into her mouth. She immediately flinched backwards, trying to avoid whatever it was. This resistance was met with a painful blow to her cheek, as the object was shoved more forcefully into her mouth. The voice spoke again, much more forceful and demanding. "Eat."

Nott absolutely hated this, being hit and forced to eat, but she was really, really hungry. It was the sort of gnawing hunger that ate you from the inside. She had never experienced it before, and the sensation was unpleasant. Bitterly, she ate the food, which she put together was stale bread. As she ate, she had to wonder why they were feeding her. It was an unusual punishment to make her hungry, but she guessed it was better than being dead. She had thought for certain she had died, but here she was. Wherever here was anyway.

After being fed the bread, the lip of a water skin was pressed to her lips, and the contents were unceremoniously poured into her mouth. She was desperately thirsty. After her mouth was no longer occupied and her throat didn't ache with dryness, she managed to speak.

"W-why? Why are you feeding me?" She asked, her voice betraying her and making her sound much more desperate and scared than she wanted to seem. Her question was answered with a kick to her ribs. Hot pain disoriented her for a moment, and she slumped to the side.

"No questions!" The voice barked before stuffing the gag back into her mouth. She squirmed away ineffectually, and she was ultimately overpowered. She heard the individual stomp away from her, and she lay there in a daze.

Around her she could hear talking, and was strangely able to make out individual voices. She could hear two distinct voices that stood out in particular. The first was the goblin who had just fed her. Although she couldn't speak their language, she made out the word 'redak' which someone had called her earlier. He seemed upset about something. The voice that responded made her stomach drop, as she recognized it as the voice of the wife of the goblin she had killed. The one who had ordered her drowning and the one who had been with the hag. A chill shot up her spine, and she found herself instinctively trying to curl into herself, although her bindings made it difficult.

The two of them argued for a while longer, and she heard the word 'redak' used multiple times. Eventually, the male goblin resigned himself to the order of the female goblin, and the conversations around her died down. She had no concept of time being blindfolded, but by the sound of crickets and the timeline of the day, she gathered it was night time. As time passed, the quiet discussions were replaced with the sounds of snoring. The noises of snoring were unpleasant to listen to, but there were much more important things on her mind. 

They had said they were going to punish her, but they hadn't killed her. Her body hurt, and she was much more sensitive to sounds, but that didn't seem like a punishment befitting of killing their leader. As she pondered on this, she resumed working on her bindings, trying to be as subtle as possible as not to endure the wrath of her captors. It was in this time that she rubbed her hands together and felt instead of soft skin, rough skin not dissimilar to the texture of those of her farmhand brothers. She couldn't logically come to any conclusion about why this was, so she continued her task.

She eventually fell asleep, despite the somehow worse conditions. She didn't dream, which was probably a good thing saying the most topical things in her life were unpleasant. She fell asleep praying to any god she could think of to protect her husband and child. If they died and she lived she wouldn't be able to forgive herself. She had never been religious, but she was aware of the Wildmother, so she sent her prayers out to Melora.

Nott was awoken to being manhandled once again. She felt herself hoisted into the air, and despite her groggy state, she squirmed, trying to escape whoever was holding her. The hands on her arms tightened painfully to the point that she could tell they would bruise. She continued to fight weakly as they dragged her over rough terrain before tossing her into the cart once more. She tried to shout, but the gag blocked off most sound.

She could hear the goblins preparing for another day's journey, and she couldn't help but wonder how long this trip would last. She tried to push out the inevitable question of 'what happens when we arrive at their final destination?'

The cycle continued for three days, although it wasn't like she was counting. Her thoughts stayed on her family; the man she loved and her dear, clever boy. The uncertainty of this situation was difficult to work through. She didn't know what was going to happen, where she was, or what had happened. 

For three days, they traveled, performed a raid or two on the way, stopped to make camp, fed her, and repeated. Being fed so infrequently gradually left her weaker and weaker. She was being fed enough she wouldn't starve, but it was the bare minimum someone needed to live. This lack of energy affected her attempts to break free. She realized quickly that tearing at her bindings wasn't enough after she felt the rope burn turn into rubbing through skin. She wasn't strong enough to break free, and the pain was enough to stop her from trying.

Overall it was a hopeless situation. Her family was gone. She was alone and she had no inclinations about the motivations of her captors. All she could do was wait for what was coming when they reached their destination. She wasn't even sure where they started their journey. 

In the middle of the fourth day, they reached their end goal. When they stopped, Nott assumed it was for another raid, but quickly she realized where she was. The smell, the sounds, the topography filled her with dread. They were back at the camp. Why had they brought her back, and where had they brought her before? What was the purpose of the trip? It couldn't be just to do raids, or they wouldn't have brought her. She was sweating at this point as her mind raced with ideas. 

Once more, she was thrown from the cart and dragged away, being propped against a stump uncomfortably. The top of the stump pressed into her back and she squirmed to adjust herself before she was stricken across the face, this blow hitting her nose. Quickly she felt blood drain from her nose and she let out a whimper of pain. For the first time in this entire journey, the blindfold she had been wearing was torn away. 

Instantly, she closed her eyes. She was so adjusted to the dark that the sudden light physically hurt her. She remembered that her mother Ashlee had told her that miners in Hupperdook used to wear multiple blindfolds after emerging from the mines, and they would take them off one at a time to adjust their eyes to the light after being underground for so long. Nott was not granted that luxury. As her eyes adjusted to the light, the voice of the wife spoke to her, her words filled with contempt and anger.

"If you try to run, we kill you. Understand Redak?" The woman snarled, practically spitting. The hatred in her voice was so apparent that Nott almost felt bad, before reminding herself of why this woman hated her. 

Nott just blinked back at her, unable to respond due to the gag. This however didn’t seem to be a rhetorical question, as the woman glared at her before ripping the gag out of her mouth. 

"Ardack vutrix," Nott responded in a neutral tone. In halfling, it was the equivalent of 'fuck off'. The goblin woman, not knowing halfling, took this as affirmation, spinning around and yelling an order to two heavily armed goblins who nodded.

Nott wasn't sure of what she was supposed to do now. Sure, the gag and blindfold were removed, but she still couldn't walk around. She looked around the camp and took note of the storm clouds rolling in from the east. She hadn't had an opportunity to familiarize herself with the goblins camp, as she and the rest of the captives had been held in one place. The camp was made up of huts and a couple tents. Goblins walked around the camp, going about their business, a few glancing over at her. In the center of the camp there was a fire pit which was currently not in use. She hung out for a while longer, before deciding a beating was worth at least asking a question.

"Hey, Frocey," She got the attention of the goblin to her right, calling him 'fucko' in halfling. The goblin glared down at her and growled, baring his teeth. She flinched back instinctively, but stood her ground not really having any other choice. "What does Redak mean?"

The goblin looked at her dumbly, looked to his coworker before turning back to her. She grasped his understanding of common wasn't on par with that of his compatriots. 

"Redak... Halfling scum," He got out. It was barely understandable with how thick his accent was, but she got the gist. It was an insult. She should have gathered as much. She sighed as blood dribbled down her face, coating her chin. She waited a while longer before speaking again.

"I really don't get why you're guarding me. I can't run," She commented dryly, the bitterness behind the sentiment apparent to even the idiot goblins guarding her. They looked down at her confused, so she clearly nodded to the weapons and then to her bindings, hoping they would get the idea. They simply blinked at her before turning back to their posts. She groaned, getting lightheaded from the blood loss. 

It took a while, but eventually the female goblin returned. In that time the rain began to pour down, forming puddles and dampening her and the ground. She looked up at the woman, bitterness catching in her throat. She assumed they would kill her soon, so why play nice. Nott had killed her husband, there was no forgiveness in this situation.

The woman didn't say anything, drawing a short word. Nott flinched, preparing herself for whatever was to come, only to feel the bindings on her ankles be cut away. Nott gasped and stared as the woman moved the blade up higher. Her gaze followed and her eyes landed on... not her hands? The bindings fell away, but Nott only stared down in disbelief.

"She won't run, but if she does, kill her." The woman ordered loudly to the entire camp. Nott got the sense she said it in common so Nott would hear the sentiment as well, but she was too preoccupied staring at her hands, the dawning horror overtaking her lungs and senses. 

Her hands were gnarled and green, four fingers adorned with black, sharp claws. They were...

She tried to stand, but her legs gave out upon impact, weak from disuse. She fell into the mud, but undeterred dragged herself by her elbows over to one of the nearby puddles forming from the rainfall above. The water and general wetness was unpleasant, but not nearly as unpleasant as the visage staring back at her in the reflection of the puddle.

A crack of thunder rang out above her head as she stared at herself. Her eyes were yellow and bulging, with red, catlike slits for pupils. Her lips were leathery and she could see fangs poking out. Thin, dark green verging on black hair fell in strands, and two large ears poked out from either side. 

Nott stared for what could have been minutes or days before throwing up and passing out.

**Author's Note:**

> Dramatic Irony:
> 
> A literary element that I myself detest, but have no issue myself implementing because I'm a hypocrite :)


End file.
